


Five Times Peter Hale Was A Terrible Parent (And One Time He Was Awesome)

by Chef_Geekier



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Background Attempted Non-Con, Background Relationships, Comedy, M/M, Mild Language, Prior MPreg, background homophobia, daddy!stiles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-17 22:31:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3546125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chef_Geekier/pseuds/Chef_Geekier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter isn't a good man. He's not a good parent. But every now and then, he does get something right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times Peter Hale Was A Terrible Parent (And One Time He Was Awesome)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CinnamonLily](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CinnamonLily/gifts).
  * Inspired by [When There's No Bull At Hand](https://archiveofourown.org/works/965497) by [CinnamonLily](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CinnamonLily/pseuds/CinnamonLily). 



> Okay, premise of this is that it's set after the fic 'When There's No Bull At Hand'. It was left ambiguous whether or not werewolves had MPreg. I decided that they did, and Stiles got pregnant.
> 
> This is mostly about Peter's awful parenting techniques, and the one thing he does right. I tried to keep Peter the same as in CinnamonLily's fic - a bit of a bastard, but not completely evil. It's not about Stiles and Peter's relationship, and it doesn't explain how the MPreg works. It starts when Luna's already two years old.
> 
> As a note, the homophobia is mentioned but not shown, and the attempted non-con is the same. See note at the end for details on it.
> 
> Enjoy!

There were plenty of times that Stiles was really glad that he wasn't actually in a relationship with Peter. The werewolf was decent enough, he supposed, providing whatever Stiles and the baby needed. He helped to smooth over all the extra paperwork involved in explaining Stiles became pregnant with a werewolf's baby in the first place (see: bribed Stiles with presents to keep him inside when he started to show, lied to medical people to say that his made-up girlfriend had a home-birth, and somehow obtained official paperwork to give Stiles custody of the baby girl). In general, he was pretty good about the whole 'knocking Stiles up when Stiles was saving his sanity/life'.  
  
But at times like this, Stiles never wanted to see the smarmy bastard again.  
  
“Fucking bitch!”  
  
Stiles gaped. Off to one side, Scott was making a choking sound. Stiles' dad was slowly turning red while two-year-old Luna sat on his lap, grinning over the new phrase she'd learned and demonstrated for her family. Derek looked like he was two seconds from tearing someone's throat out, probably not too concerned about exactly who, while behind him Melissa was frozen.  
  
Peter, of course, was cackling like the lunatic he was.  
  
“I hate you, Peter. You _know_ she repeats everything she hears! Why would you say something like that?”  
  
“Blame the werewolf hearing, darling.”  
  
Stiles really wanted to punch him. Peter only gave him endearments when he wanted to be annoying.  
  
“She's not a werewolf!”  
  
“Not my fault.”  
  
By this point, everyone except Luna was glaring at Peter.  
  
“You're a horrible parent,” Derek muttered. “Please never have another one.”  
  
Peter just grinned at Stiles.  
  
  
  
***  
  
Luna was crying.  
  
No, that wasn't the right word for it. Luna, who'd turned five just a few weeks ago, was _bawling her fucking eyes out_ and Stiles didn't know how to make her stop. She'd come back from a visit with Peter rather quiet, but that wasn't really unusual.  
  
Then Scott had asked if she was excited to go visit the Easter Bunny at the mall on the weekend, and the Luna had started screaming.  
  
Nothing was working to calm her down. Scott had tried hugging and rocking her, which usually calmed her down from anything. Stiles tried bribing her with ice cream (hey, it usually worked!). They tried cartoons, her favourite picture book, telling her that Grampy was coming home soon.  
  
She just kept crying.  
  
Finally, after more than an hour of non-stop crying and screaming, she wore herself out and fell into a fitful sleep.  
  
“Dude,” Scott whispered, eyes wide. “What the hell?”  
  
“I don't know,” Stiles whispered back. He tucked Luna into bed, then grabbed his phone and called Peter. After a few rings, the phone was answered.  
  
“Ah, Stiles. Lovely to hear from you. What has our daughter done now?”  
  
“She just finished having hysterics when Scott mentioned the Easter Bunny. Did something happen at your place?”  
  
“...Perhaps I should have mentioned that.”  
  
“WHAT DID YOU DO?”  
  
“Well, it's possible that I didn't finish skinning the rabbits I caught last night. And it's also possible that Luna came into the kitchen just before I removed the skin. And maybe I made a comment about the Easter Bunny couldn't hide eggs if he didn't have any feet...”  
  
“Peter!”  
  
“...and then offered her a rabbit's foot for luck.”  
  
Stiles found himself choking on all of the words he wanted to say. After a few unintelligible sounds left his mouth, he hung up and threw the phone onto the couch. Scott slipped into the room and looked at him, concerned.  
  
“Well? What happened?”  
  
“Peter told Luna that he killed the Easter Bunny.”  
  
Scott blinked.  
  
“Somehow, I'm not actually surprised.”  
  
  
  
***  
  
Stiles wasn't an idiot. He saw a pattern emerging, and made sure to tell Luna that she shouldn't believe everything that Peter told her. He put special emphasis on not believing when Peter said that someone should die or get horribly maimed. In doing so, he managed to avoid several possible meltdowns.  
  
Then Luna was in elementary school, and Stiles realised that they had a whole new set of problems. Mainly, that Peter had no idea what was appropriate behaviour for human school kids.  
  
This particular incident occurred because Stiles had to go out of town for week on Pack business, and his dad was getting over the flu. Peter had taken care of Luna for a few days at a time before – he did love his daughter, in his own way – so Stiles figured they'd be fine together.  
  
It was a Friday – show and tell day at school – and Stiles was sitting down to lunch with Derek when his phone rang. Seeing the number of Luna's school, he immediately excused himself and picked up.  
  
“Hi, yes, what's wrong?”  
  
“Mr Stilinski, this is Mrs MacTavish. I need to speak to you about the... inappropriate item that Luna brought to school today.”  
  
“Inappropriate item?” Stiles questioned. “I'm sorry, I'm out of town – she's been staying with her uncle this week. What did she bring?”  
  
“A dagger that was housed in a wrist-holder, so that it would drop into her hand with a flick of the wrist. Mr Stilinski, we do not approve of our students carrying hidden weapons, especially when they are ten years old.”  
  
Stiles took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds, then slowly let it out.  
  
“I assure you Mrs MacTavish, I don't approve either. Peter and I will be having words when I get back.”  
  
It took a fair amount of diplomacy, but Stiles managed to talk the headmistress out of pressing criminal charges against Peter. By the time he was done his food had arrived at the table, and most likely gone soggy and disgusting. He walked back into the cafe and slumped down into the chair, sending Derek a half-hearted glare.  
  
“Your uncle's a bastard.”  
  
“I see. When he does something wrong he's my uncle, when he does something right he's Luna's father.”  
  
“Yeah, that about sums it up.”  
  
  
  
***  
  
Stiles was nervous as hell. It was the night of Luna's first Junior High parent-teacher interview, and he knew his daughter had a few issues. She had problems with concentration – nowhere near as bad as Stiles had been at her age, but she still had trouble focusing if a topic didn't interest her. Coupled with the intelligence that Stiles and Peter both encouraged and a keen interest in the supernatural, this had a tendency to bring her into conflict with her teachers.  
  
Which of course meant that now, Peter was coming into conflict with her teachers.  
  
“Please,” Stiles begged under his breath as they walked through the school, “don't murder anyone. Don't _threaten_ to murder anyone.”  
  
“How about maiming?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Injuring?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Psychologically tormenting?”  
  
“...Tempting, but no.”  
  
“You're no fun any more.”  
  
Stiles thought he'd covered all the bases. He was proven wrong half an hour later, when Luna's math teacher – a woman who constantly picked on the girl for no apparent reason – screamed and fled the classroom.  
  
“Seriously, Peter?”  
  
Peter just rolled his eyes and continued to slide his hand further up Stiles' leg towards his crotch.  
  
“She's an intolerant bitch who takes out her prejudices on our daughter. Not my fault the sight of two men together makes her panic.”  
  
“You could at least–mph!”  
  
Stiles gave up as Peter leaned across and started kissing him. To be honest, he wasn't really all that opposed to tormenting this particular teacher. And he'd always wanted to try sex in a classroom...  
  
As a result, both Stiles and Peter were banned from ever attending another parent-teacher conference. The Sheriff and Derek were volunteered instead.  
  
  
***  
  
Stiles made sure that he was prepared when Luna showed signs of entering puberty. He recruited Lydia to help with explaining things from a woman's perspective, and banned Peter from the conversation entirely. While it couldn't really be said to go _well_ , they all emerged without lasting psychological trauma.  
  
So, naturally, Peter had to change that.  
  
A few weeks later, Luna had spent the weekend with Peter. She came home on the Sunday and slammed the door behind her.  
  
“Dad! Ew! I can't believe you!”  
  
“What?” Stiles jumped, confused. He'd been half asleep in front of the TV, nothing sordid that he could see.  
  
“Peter told me about how werewolves had sex. You got knotted by a zombie-wolf! Is that really a thing for you, necrophilia?”  
  
Stiles looked from Luna's rather horrified face to the phone on the coffee table with the innocuous message from Peter ( _Having a lovely chat with Luna. We have a very intelligent and curious daughter_.), and sighed.  
  
“I knew I should have killed him again when I had the chance.”  
  
“EEEEW!”  
  
  
  
***  
  
Peter was well aware that he wasn't exactly the greatest father in the world. He hid things, or revealed too much. He lied, or told brutal truths.  
  
And he was extremely possessive.  
  
He had said nothing when Luna had announced who she was going to the prom with. He didn't know the boy particularly well, but he knew that Luna wasn't some starry-eyed damsel convinced she was in love. Peter had made sure she knew that love was more complicated than that.  
  
Peter was at Stiles' house when the boy picked Luna up. He and Stiles were currently in an 'on' stage of their complex relationship, so they were going to have a date night of their own. As soon as he smelled the boy, though, he had to fight the shift back in a way that was completely new.  
  
The boy stank of hormones, lust and testosterone overpowering the offensive-smelling aftershave. All smells were wiped out by sheer terror, though, when Peter gave his best serial-killer smile and shook the boy's hand.  
  
Stiles watched as Luna and her date left, then turned to Peter. They shared a look, and Stiles sighed.  
  
“Yeah okay, let's stay here. Just in case.”  
  
Their paranoia turned out to be justified a couple of hours later, when Stiles' phone rang. Peter listened to the conversation from the next room, annoyed that Stiles had shut him out so he couldn't hear what the other person was saying.  
  
“Yes, she's my daughter... She did what? Wow... No... Of course... I'm not sure, I'll have to speak to her... Okay, we'll come get her... Bye.”  
  
That was enough to have Peter's hackles up, but Stiles was grinning when he came back in.  
  
“So, guess what our daughter's done this time?”  
  
“Ripped someone's throat out with her teeth?”  
  
“No, but if she'd been born a were I'm pretty sure she would have.” Peter made a 'go on' gesture when Stiles started laughing. “Okay, okay. Well, that boy you hated on sight? Apparently he got a little handsy. Luna said no. He didn't stop, so she broke his wrist.”  
  
A slow grin spread across Peter's face.  
  
“Excellent. I'm glad she took those lessons to heart.”  
  
“What lessons were they?” Stiles raised an eyebrow. Peter kept smiling as he grabbed his keys.  
  
“Oh, nothing much. Just how to survive hand-to-hand combat with a werewolf. How to get out of a hunter's grasp. And that she should never be afraid to use whatever means necessary to keep safe.”  
  
Stiles shook his head, a fond grin on his own face.  
  
“You're a bit of a bastard. But sometimes, I'm glad you're Luna's father.”  
  
Peter nodded. He wouldn't tell Stiles, but he was already planning on his own vengeance for the little shit who'd tried to hurt his daughter.  
  
So maybe Peter wouldn't be winning any parent of the year awards. As long as Luna stayed alive and safe, he didn't care.

**Author's Note:**

> Homophobia warning: One of the teachers panics and flees when Peter feels up Stiles in front of her.
> 
> Non-con warning: It's mentioned that Luna's prom date gets handsy and doesn't want to take no for an answer, so she reacts with violence and stops him.


End file.
